Black/White/cultural marital issues. Could really use your help?

Got married very young (20 years old). Two vastly different cultures (Urban African American [me], Suburban European American[him]). I over-immersed into his world, and lost myself in the process. I spent years trying to fit a mold that I did not fit into, trying to imilate into his world and operate the way women operate. Husband was never very comfortable with immersing into my world.There were always reasons why we should not go into my world and be a part of it, making our lives culturally balanced. I gave in and stayed in his world, convincing myself that the Euro American suburban lifestyle was better than what I grew up with. I lost years of being with my own blood family. I started to regain my own confidance and started creating a life for myself through artistic career endeavors and husband was not supportive of it. When I came out of his culture to reconnect with my own, it was not met with support, but apprehension, and sometimes, criticism. I don't desire a strictly African American lifestyle, rather a very multicultural environment where both cultures feel supported. He says he wants it too, but there is always some form of aprehension on his part. Not only is the cultural imbalance a huge issue, but he does not naturally desire me. I have tried to keep our intimacy alive and he participates, but not totally and whole heartedly. I am left feeling undesired and unwanted and not excepted for who I really am. We have had honest, and raw conversations about this topic, as I thought he might be gay for a while because of his obvious lack of interest in me. It came out that he is not gay, but tends to have a natural preference for women that I will never look like (Euro American beauty). He feels bad for feeling this way, but also does not understand why I am so hurt by his preference for something I can never be. He wants to be what I want him to be, but I feel I am forcing him to be something he does not want. I am left feeling like I am trying to make my husband like me for who I am, when that should have already been set in place. Been married for almost 10 years and my extended family still does not know him very well. There has been no proactive attempts on his end to get to know my family. Now that I am saying I am done, he wants to try and fix things that have been broken for years. What should I do?